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Below are the 19 most recent journal entries recorded in Hail Eris!'s LiveJournal:

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Tuesday, October 27th, 2009
10:45 pm
Tuesday, July 28th, 2009
11:36 pm
My Eris...
Well, I don't know about down in the US, but many places in Canada that accept debit & credit cards use terminals supplied by Moneris Solutions. It's easy to see the inside joke here...Mon Eris, or translated from French, "My Eris". I have always said that if their is a patron diety of Computers, it must be Eris! I think this is the definitive proof of that. Of course, I never have any problems using these terminals, being a Priest of Eris...so all I can say is "Hail Eris! My Eris!"

Current Mood: happy
Thursday, April 23rd, 2009
4:17 pm
Breaking News!
Ye Olde Goldyn Appyl Presse: All The News That's Fit To Print, And Then Some.

Boojum runs loose on LiveJournal
By = Amanda Sukmi Cox

Pungenday, day 40 in the season of Discord, 3175 Year of Our Lady of Discord - In yet another case to get LiveJournal users' goat, it has been discovered today that a Boojum is running loose in the wires and servers of LiveJournal, using the wires to eat people from all around the world. A side effect of this heinous act is the disappearance of content from certain users' posts.

I asked Boojum expert, Mr. Bat Pennitar from the Evil Goatee Universe, why this was the case. After stroking his goatee with an evil grin on his face for several minutes, he finally said with a voice much like that of Carlos Montalban, "Because, you see, the Boojum is an animal that can live either in the real world or online. It needs a port of entry, a portal from one world to the other. This is similar to the creatures known as Internet Trolls, though those are really humans who have become infected by the bite of another Internet Troll. When the light of the computer monitor hit them, they turn into Internet Trolls. But I digress." He paused to stroke his goatee and grin wickedly for a few more minutes before continuing, "A Boojum is not human and has never been human. They are ferocious monsters from the Bottomless Pits of The Bible Belt, created in the darkness by something called 'schlin,' which is the oppisite of 'sin.' It is when people, usually highly religious, resist temptations of the flesh and other things they consider sins. Of course, 'sin' does not exist, but schlin most definetely does. It congeals in dark places like a white slime because it is a substance made from denial and repression."

He stopped to stroke his beard and grin wickedly again, then laughed maniacally before continuing. "Boojums used to be extremely common, but now their numbers have been dwindling, at least in the United States, Australia, Canada, and Europe, because of decreasing numbers of people living in fear of sin. But as their numbers diminish, they get scared and lash out. They have lately taken to getting online and trying to reverse the conditions which are threatening them, with the help of some groups of Internet Trolls called Fundies, and other means. In fact, I have seen them targeting individuals, even eating the content from their posts.

"Now as I said, Boojums eat people. But they can only eat people who emit schlin. Those who are not repressed and fearful of sinning are protected by this from direct attacks by Boojums. But indirect attacks, ranging from eating the content of their posts to posessing Internet Trolls, are aimed at trying to convert the target individual to a life of schlin. As long as these individuals continue to resist, they will be fine. A little annoyed, perhaps, but fine. Now, if you will pardon me, I just got a call from my pet midget, telling me that my plane is landing now." He cackled with glee and vanished in a puff of weasels.

I tried to speak with LiveJournal officials today about the Boojum in the wires, but they seemed reluctant to speak. My Russian is a tad rusty, but I believe they said something about not wanting me around while they're eating dinner. Well, something about "Don't come in while I'm masticating!" I guess they thought I was a telemarketer. Ah well.

So, it is not known how soon the Boojum will be flushed out, but Mr. Bat Pennitar *did* give me the business card for a very good Boojum removal service: "Boojum Jockey's: Let BJ Come For You!"

More updates as we have them.


Today's Breaking News is sponsored by Geiger brand radioactive soda pop! It's the other green liquid that will turn you into a mutant freak! Just $1.99! Buy today!
Tuesday, March 31st, 2009
2:30 pm
For your Erisian pleasure...
The Mighty Hercules - Search of the Golden Apples

Saturday, October 4th, 2008
12:43 pm
I can't believe I found this place. I'm dumbstruck.

I was looking for a more politically correct background for my work computer than, "Did you know God is a crazy women?" (which apparently my female boss finds offensive) and came across this LJ community.

I'm stoked.

Hail Eris!
Monday, August 18th, 2008
5:30 pm
Monday, May 19th, 2008
2:39 pm
Discordian Cyberspace Masquerade
So I got this e-mail about something cool going on. I think it's such a great idea that I'm taking it upon myself to tell LJ about it.

Hail Yes

I hadn't even realized it was Discordia's 50th (or 49th) anniversary. This is cool 'cause we get to celebrate the 50 year mark for two years in a row. It's our Golden Apple anniversary. =)

I love the idea of an online party which brings together Discordians from all sections of the web. It's also cool that it's anonymous. It'll make communication really interesting. I hope to swap some of my ideas with other people's ideas, and maybe get a page or two written for the book PDF thing they're putting together.

Anyway, there's not a lot of time until the party starts, so I'm trying to pass the invite around as quickly as possible. If you have any ideas for where else we should advertise, please post! Or optimally, you should go there and get some buzz going.

PLEASE post to your blogs, facebook groups, forums, whatever, wherever Discordians hang out.

I'll see you guys at the party! Hail Eris and Hail Yes!
Tuesday, May 13th, 2008
12:41 am
The Multnomah County Library has a few Robert Anton Wilson books in its collection, but not "Wilhelm Reich In Hell." So I decided to inter-library loan it. Guess how many libraries have that book? Give up? Well, there are nine. Nine! IN THE ENTIRE FREAKING COUNTRY. Only nine libraries in all the USA have a copy of "Wilhelm Reich In Hell"!

Some day, when I am rich and famous (crosses fingers in hope), I am going to start a trust fund like Carnegie did, only instead of the money going to build libraries, it will go toward getting books into libraries that ought to be in libraries. Books that a lot of people would be interested in, but which the people who are interested in them are scattered around the country. Like occult books, and controversial titles.

Cross posted to heck and back.
Sunday, April 20th, 2008
12:21 pm
Praise Tina Chopp! Happy 420!
Thursday, February 21st, 2008
1:54 pm
Friday, October 12th, 2007
12:35 am
Evidence that Chaos is the dominant trait of the universe, and of humanity, rather than Order can be found in a very simple way: The patterns emergent in everyday activities and behaviors - like traffic. If Order really was emergent rather than the complexity of rampant chaos, then traffic would be a smooth, simple process of getting from Point A to Point B with little fuss, as everyone involved would automatically tend to do the proper thing in the Orderly Pattern and it'd all churn along like a well-oiled and well-maintained machine. Order would be emergent in the simple, basic patterns thereby formed.

What is actually observed is a tangled, sprawling mess of roadways, traffic jams, and incomprehensible noise disrupting the smooth flow of it all. Chaos emerges in the overall scale, as knots of cars abruptly form when someone brakes to avoid a piece of trash, cuts someone else off, refuses to yield to merging traffic, and generally acting like a bunch of noisy brats. Order is superficially in evidence by deliberate action of Authorities trying to regulate the traffic, but these generally just add to the ensuing chaos as some people obey them and others ignore them on a headlong dash to wherever they're going, and a few obey the rules just to irk everyone else involved.

Therefore, it is evident by the emergent chaos-ridden patterns that Chaos, rather than Order, is the natural state of things.

Hail Eris,
And All That Other Silly Stuff,

Kassil the Erratic,
High Low Priest of the High Orbit Cabal, AD-HOC, KSC
Thursday, April 26th, 2007
1:26 pm
Need YOGAP writers!
x-posted onto numerous places from my LJ

There is only one issue currently of my Discordian fake newspaper, Ye Olde Goldyn Apple Presse, because the boojum ate the old issues. And writing for this fake newspaper is fun but takes ages and wears me out. I was hoping, then if I might get some help?

YOGAP needs writers who don't mind their stuff being kopylefted ("reprint what you like"). Here's what I need stuff for, specifically:

* Comic strips
* Political cartoons
* Fake "interesting people" articles (I currently write those under the fake name "Mrs. Appleberry Crunch Cereal")
* Fake celebrity news (can be about real celebrities, fictional celebrities, or inanimate objects that are famous/infamous)
* Fake classified ads
* Fake (or real) letters to the editor(that's me)/opinion stuff
* Fake news for these reports: Science Report, Religion Report, Crime Report, Sports News,
* Fake weather forecast stuff
* Fake advertisements
* Topics for Bishop Sanctimonious's opinion column
* Jesus H. Christ will be writing the opinion column again at some point, we need ideas for that. You could also write an opinion column or two and we could put it under his name.

Please read the current YOGAP issue first if you're interested in submitting content for it. Content should be submitted to my email address (fayanora@yahoo.com) so that not everyone and his dog can read it ahead of time. But simple interest or questions can be said in the comments of this post.

I already have a Dischordian Horrorscope for issue 2, and prefer to write that for myself. Though if you have ideas for gruesome ways to die/be maimed and what a horrorscope might say to help you prevent those unfortunate things, then please email me at fayanora@yahoo.com

Anything else that might be in a newspaper that we can spoof, let me know. I need ideas as much as anything else.

Current Mood: creative
Thursday, November 30th, 2006
11:00 pm
The Cabbage's Natural Enemy
This shall heretofore be known as the introductory post of the small and humble gecko. Let it be known that in evidence of the small and humble gecko's belief in the occassional and mighty powers of Eris shall be evidenced in a tattoo of the one true Cheshire cat and not the ripoff done by the evil corruptor of children, Disney.

the small and humble gecko works in the greatest example of Erisian forces at work, the US government (which shall be henchforth referred to as "that one place" to create confusion among the ranks). the small and humble gecko is in fact not a small and humble gecko, but that is a secret that will not be revealed upon pain of death.

the small and humble gecko may also be referred to as the small and humble gecko despite not actually being a small and humble gecko and could perhaps even be considered the anti-small and humble gecko.

On a closing note, the small and humble gecko does not exist.

In other news, I have recently re-discovered Discordianism, even though since everyone's a member I never really left in the first place. And I like jello. I think that covers the important stuff.
Monday, November 20th, 2006
5:05 pm
Erisian Martial Arts?
I posted this to a thread on the Earthdawn Publishing Trust[EDPT.org], and it ties quite nicely into some recent thoughts I've been having during my martial arts studies. I met a cool PDXOcculture memeber who lent me a .pdf called "Mu Do"("No-Path" or "Nothing Path") for private review. I haven't gotten around to reading it, but he said it took alot from Chaos Magick theory, which I can digg. I've also been thinking about how to effectively describe combat in order to teach it (fictionally, in an rpg, or iRL), and how to combine that with my natural inclination to Erisian and Discordian thought. Zenarchist Kali-Wudo Masters?

As my girlfriend miss_discord said, "Ninjas for C'thulhu! Why protect a Lesser Evil?!?"

Ok, it's taken me some time to get to this topic. I've been thinking quite a bit about the language of combat recently, especially as it pertains to RPGs and ED in particular. What we have in ED is a magically active fantasy combat simulation (at points in the game). So we should look to RL combat for some of the descriptive terms. This becomes harder and harder as each "school" of martial arts and "fighting" sports has it's own terminology and names for techniques, etc. Add to this that once combat starts iRL, your language-using, symbol manipulating, rational 3rd circuit brain takes a step back, meaning that your sense of time becomes skewed, things seem to happen "all-at-once" and your ingrained reflexes take over. While there is some fore-thought and planning involved while actually experiencing combat, I'd say only about 20% or less of it is conscious.

So, our descriptions should try to capture that feeling of swift moving action, almost carrying the player faster than they can handle, with lulls at random moments to let the player catch his/her breath and stare in awe at what's going on around his/her character. To get RPG combat to that point you almost have to get to the point that the rules are as memorized and ingrained as the techniques a martial artist uses. Appropriate language, as well as familiarity with the rules by everyone playing will help. Don't worry if you've got new players in the group, as by "familiarity with the rules" I mean that everyone should have a similar understanding, and those witha better understanding help and focus the other players when a rules question comes up.

Ok, now that we've gotten the overview out of the way, lets talk about how we talk about ACTION!

I have a few core concepts from my own martial arts training (Pele-Kai: a blend between Kali Escrima and Hawaiian Kung Fu, I've also studied a few other styles, such as Aikido), and have begun to realize that the core concepts transfer between styles quite easily once you overlook the different names the techniques have. Ok, so I'm going to be talking primarily about Movement, Range, and Direction of Attack. I'll try to dig up some illustrations to better communicate these concepts.

Movement and Range discussed under cut.Collapse )
Wow, people. That seems like enough typing for now, and if I expect you to absorb any of it, I should dole it out in digestible lumps. Next post I'll talk about [b]Direction of Attack[/b], as I said above, and probably comment on the [b]Block-Check-Strike[/b] trinity that you can find inherent in nearly any martial arts technique.

-Telarus, KSC, Episkopos of the Amorphous Dreams Cabal, Keeper of the Contradictory Cephalopod, Tender to the Edible Zen Garden

Feel free to comment.
Monday, November 6th, 2006
2:52 pm
Brethren! Sistren! Hermaphren! Neutren! Otheren! Unidentifiableren!

I invite all of you to go poke about here and here and participate in a debate most absurd! An argument about atheism, and whether or not an atheist, by definition, must believe in order to disbelieve! Truly, with the frothing and wailing and gnashing of teeth contained herein, it may well be the work of one of the unknowing Eristic Avatars - or even two, blindly working together to sow even more blessed primal Chaos!

Or I might be full of shit. Eris is giggling too badly to give me an answer, and I have a feeling she'd just tell me to ask the Chao. And all it ever says is "MU".*

* - except for the one time, but that may have been a MU distorted by a sizable quanitity of alcohol into a brilliant-seeming pseudo-zen-koan.

Kassil the Erratic, AD-HOC
High Priest of the High Orbit Cabal, KSC
Master of the Second Door on the Left Past the Golden Apple
Fnord Wrangler Fifth Class
Thursday, September 14th, 2006
12:09 pm

It's what's for dinner!
Wednesday, August 2nd, 2006
12:33 am
Suppressed Teachings
I asked Eris about the Discordians before the Great Revival of Fiftyeightorfiftynine.  "Not much is known about them, even by me, but I can tell you that their Esoteric teachings are disguised in the children's song 'All Around the Mulberry Bush' and it's physical representaion, the jack-in-the-box."
"The monkey and the weasel represent the hodge and podge respectively, though it's never clear which is which at any given moment.  They eternally run after one another around the Sacred Chao, represented by the mulberry bush (mulberry bush being ancient mesopotamian slang for 'that hole on women that babies come out of'), arguing over who has the divine right to implant their seed in the Chao for gestation...."

"And what comes out of this Holy Procreation?"  I interjected, "The archetypal clown that comes popping out of the jack-in-the-box!" I interjected

"Actually, that was only added because the original idea of a knife wielding gypsy was deemed not kid-friendly in test markets."  She replied.
Monday, June 12th, 2006
2:52 pm
The Lady Kali Flower and I found a copy of Discordia: Hail the Goddess of Chaos and Confusion in Borders yesterday. I was looking through it and, at first, it seemed to be a resized defferently fonted Principia with a few new graphics. I had no problem with most of this, as a religion based on Chaos should assume their Wholey Book to not be stagnant. But then I saw the copyright on this "original text" , and I proceeded to get very very angry.
Beverly Potter has seen fit to take the work of Malaclypse-2 and Lord Omar, add a few graphics taken from other Discordian tracts, move and remove jokes and punchlines, and call it her own original work. Fuck that. I'm calling down a Discordian Jihad (ie a jake) on her. Please send whatever you feel fit to Beverly@docpotter.com. One does not copyright a Discordian text and not expect "feedback". Have fun!

x-posted. Like, a lot
Friday, April 28th, 2006
12:45 pm
I hereby declare myself the High Priest of the High Orbit Cabal, the Dark Episkopos Kassil the Erratic, Low Reverend Brother Mayhem (KSC), Bemuser of the Faith, and Tyrant of the GM Screen. This replaces my former position as Joint Episkopos of the Cyberspatial Wayward Discordianistic Brotherhood And Sisterhood In No Way Related To The Paratheoanametamystikhood Of Eris Esoteric Except For The Principal Beliefs, DisInc, which I have ceded to the new Under-Chief Popetrixomnivoraciousness Bazil of said Discordian group, and Shinaraz, the Duchess of the Salty Waters, also of said group.

The unofficial Wholly Holey Holy Book is the Discordia Ars Magna, in the process of being created and put up over at the High Orbit Cabal Webpage.

More information shall be forthcoming, but for now all questions can be directed to the cabal's dinosaur Plant, Skippy the First, by way of comments.

Hail Eris!
All Hail Discordia!

Current Mood: amused
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